Figuring out how to lose weight can be challenging at the best of times. That said, when you’re also facing the additional barrier of an unsupportive spouse, it can feel as though the entire world is against your efforts. Is it foolish to even try? Should you give up and stop wasting your time? Of course not! You just need the right game plan. Fortunately, it’s a lot more pleasant than it sounds.
How to Lose Weight Despite Spousal Adversity
Whenever a major lifestyle ship happens in one half of a couple but not the other, there’s a chance for some added stress between you. This may be so minor and temporary that it’s not even noticeable. However, while you’re figuring out how to lose weight, you’re making changes to some areas that play a substantial daily role in any relationship. As a result, dietary changes can cause tension you’ll actually notice – because it may not be even slightly subtle.
There are many reasons that a spouse can feel affected even when you’re working on how to lose weight yourself. Your partner may feel indirectly judged for their own choices or pressured to make changes they don’t want to make – even if this was not at all your intention. In fact, your desire for weight loss or improved physical fitness may simply cause your partner to reflect on their own habits and dislike what they see but feel unwilling to change out of discomfort, fear, or other unpleasant emotions. The way that this affects their own self-image can sometimes manifest as distaste and a lack of support for what you’re trying to achieve.
How to Lose Weight Without Harm to Your Relationship
There are many steps that you can take to lose weight without causing harm to your relationship. This will help you to ensure that you get the support you need, are free to pursue your healthy goals, and still flourish in your relationship with your partner.
Consider the following strategies for weight loss when your spouse doesn’t want to support you.
1 – Be Open About What You Plan to Do
Communication is one of the best things you can do when your spouse seems unsupportive of how you want to lose weight. Take the time to explain why you’re making changes to your lifestyle, what you plan to do, and what you hope the outcome will be. Stress how much your spouse’s support means to you but make it clear that this is something you plan to do regardless of whether or not they approve.
2 – Invite Your Partner to Join You
Your spouse may feel unneeded or abandoned with how you plan to lose weight. Make sure they feel welcome to join in with as much or as little of your strategy as they want. Or let them know that if they have a strategy they want to pursue, you will be supportive of them in return. If they’re not interested in taking part for themselves, their encouragement in what you’re doing will be more than enough.
3 – Give Praise to the Positive
When your spouse isn’t being supportive, there may be quite a bit of negative in your conversations. Though this is challenging, try to focus on what your partner is doing right, instead of exclusively pointing out what they are doing wrong. When they do something supportive – something small – give praise. Show gratitude for the kindness and support and express how much it means to you. Or, when nothing has been done in a while, bring something up out of the blue. Talk about something supportive your partner did that you genuinely loved and appreciated. This will show that you are still having positive thoughts and will encourage similar actions to bring on more of those positive interactions.
4 – Get Your Support Elsewhere
If your spouse continues to be unsupportive or simply isn’t providing as much support as you need to help you with how you want to lose weight, find that support elsewhere. Remember that while it is great to have your partner’s support, this is your goal and your effort to reach it. It is not up to your partner to get you there.
Talk to friends or family members who support what you’re trying to achieve. Buddy up with someone who is following a similar goal. You can even join a weight loss forum discussion, and find your support online among other people who have been facing similar challenges and who are also sharing their victories. Remember that your partner isn’t the only place support can happen.